brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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