she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
