FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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