i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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