Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
