he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
