i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
