Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize