She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
