I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
