Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
