She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
