I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize