Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
