so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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