I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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