I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
