I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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