You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
