No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
MIDGETS
????
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
