he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
its liver damage thursday
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