ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I need a beard to bite.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
