there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
