You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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