I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
