Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
porn star boner night. come get it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize