i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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