Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
