We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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