I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
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Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sorry about my life...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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