fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
