she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think my vagina is haunted
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
