Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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