So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
