You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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