life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
