Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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