you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
