just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
