Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
