theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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