Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
