do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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