i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
