So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
