Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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