you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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