they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
