I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
