you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
