I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit