$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
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can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.