You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
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Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.