"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.