just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize