two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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