Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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