Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
