just come out here and I will go home with you...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize